Nov 20, 2009 02:55
14 yrs ago
Spanish term
macho cabrío
Spanish to English
Art/Literary
Poetry & Literature
En tu alcoba de macho cabrío introduje violetas africanas
y rodeé de jazmines indios los bordes de tus infranqueables
ventanas
-esas que ahora el perfume traspasa con ruido de vidrios
rotos-
In your bedroom of macho virile I introduced African violets
and rounded with Indian jasmine your insurmountable windows
those that now the perfume goes through the glass
broken noise.
No sé si suena fuerte la palabra macho en inglés....
y rodeé de jazmines indios los bordes de tus infranqueables
ventanas
-esas que ahora el perfume traspasa con ruido de vidrios
rotos-
In your bedroom of macho virile I introduced African violets
and rounded with Indian jasmine your insurmountable windows
those that now the perfume goes through the glass
broken noise.
No sé si suena fuerte la palabra macho en inglés....
Proposed translations
(English)
| 3 +6 | In your virile chamber... |
Tara Orzolek
|
| 5 | stud |
Ismael Torres
|
| 4 | virile male |
Jenny Westwell
|
| 3 | billy-goat |
Rafael Geronimo
|
| 3 | alpha male |
MJ Barber
|
Change log
Nov 20, 2009 02:55: changed "Kudoz queue" from "In queue" to "Public"
Proposed translations
+6
22 mins
Tara Orzolek
Native in English
Specializes in field
Specializing in Art and the Humanities.
Native in: English
Works in: Spanish to English, English
Related KudoZ points
:
8
Selected
In your virile chamber...
In your virile chamber I introduced African violets
and surrounded your insurmountable windows with Indian jasmine
-those that now the perfume goes through with the noise of windows being
broken-.
Hi Richard,
Yes, it's a little strong, but I find the problem to be more that it is an ugly sounding word in English that has very unpleasant connotations. And not as commonly used as it is in Spanish.
Therefore, perhaps you could lose "macho" and just use "virile" (which is also strong and sexual but not necessarily unpleasant). "Chamber", to me, is more poetic and suggestive than "bedroom", which is a little pedestrian.
Instead of "rounded" I would use "surrounded" and change the word order to sound more natural in English.
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I understand "rotos" to modify "vidrios"; therefore the line would be more like the perfume going through with the noise of broken windows. I think the word break should be preserved, with "rotos" or "broken" to be the final word; to do this you need to play with the word order in English a bit.
Hope this helps. What a great project.
and surrounded your insurmountable windows with Indian jasmine
-those that now the perfume goes through with the noise of windows being
broken-.
Hi Richard,
Yes, it's a little strong, but I find the problem to be more that it is an ugly sounding word in English that has very unpleasant connotations. And not as commonly used as it is in Spanish.
Therefore, perhaps you could lose "macho" and just use "virile" (which is also strong and sexual but not necessarily unpleasant). "Chamber", to me, is more poetic and suggestive than "bedroom", which is a little pedestrian.
Instead of "rounded" I would use "surrounded" and change the word order to sound more natural in English.
Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I understand "rotos" to modify "vidrios"; therefore the line would be more like the perfume going through with the noise of broken windows. I think the word break should be preserved, with "rotos" or "broken" to be the final word; to do this you need to play with the word order in English a bit.
Hope this helps. What a great project.
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks indeed"
1 hr
Ismael Torres
Native in Spanish
Specializes in field
Efficient Resourceful Confidential
Native in: Spanish 
Works in: English to Spanish, Spanish to English
stud
Merriam webster Dictionary:
stud:
1) a male animal kept for breeding
2) a young man : guy; especially : one who is virile and promiscuous
stud:
1) a male animal kept for breeding
2) a young man : guy; especially : one who is virile and promiscuous
3 hrs
billy-goat
Otra opcion
7 hrs
Jenny Westwell
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Native in English
Works in field
United Kingdom
Insightful, timely, accurate
Native in: English
Works in: Spanish to English, English to Spanish, English
Related KudoZ points
:
4
virile male
I think "male" could be a good word to use here. It is strong and suggests sexuality but without any perjorative connotations.
For the last line I would use "with the sound of breaking glass" as this is a phrase commonly used and it also has a poetic resonance to it. Glass makes no sound once it has been broken; the sound refered to is the tinkling sound made as the glass is breaking. I prefer "sound" because "noise" is usually used for something unpleasant, and I don´t think that is the sense here, especially as we are describing the movement of a perfume. It feels to me more like the pleasant tinkling sound of glass breaking.
For the last line I would use "with the sound of breaking glass" as this is a phrase commonly used and it also has a poetic resonance to it. Glass makes no sound once it has been broken; the sound refered to is the tinkling sound made as the glass is breaking. I prefer "sound" because "noise" is usually used for something unpleasant, and I don´t think that is the sense here, especially as we are describing the movement of a perfume. It feels to me more like the pleasant tinkling sound of glass breaking.
7 hrs
alpha male
She has feminised his ultra butch room (probably a metaphor for his life):
I put African violets in your alpha-male bedroom
and garlanded your impenetrable windows with Indian jasmine,
whose perfume now breaches those windows, with a sound of broken glass
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 hrs (2009-11-20 10:25:18 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
last line: with a sound of breaking glass
I put African violets in your alpha-male bedroom
and garlanded your impenetrable windows with Indian jasmine,
whose perfume now breaches those windows, with a sound of broken glass
--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 hrs (2009-11-20 10:25:18 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------
last line: with a sound of breaking glass
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